Ryan and his Little Cousin Get Naked

Ryan and His Little Cousin Get Naked

It was Thanksgiving, 1998.  We had traveled to Mike and Lois's house to visit for a few days.  Sometime after the big feast, Grandpa Ray came in to tell us that he had caught Ryan (5) and his cousin, Michelle (4 or 5) in the closet with their clothes off.  Ray was pretty proud of himself, the fact that he had been so observant.  He said he figured those two were being just too darned quiet.  He said he had learned to watch for such things.  He found the door closed and the lights off.  He found the two little darlings in the closet.  They had been playing some sort of a game that involved getting naked. 

When I heard of this, my first thought was, "Isn't that cute, two innocent little kids . . ."  But then I realized that there may be some teaching that needs to happen here.  If this was innocent, then why did they turn off the lights and close the door?  They must have had some idea that what they were doing was wrong, and so had tried to conceal their actions.  Here was the perfect teaching moment.  I didn't want to squander it.  I wasn't mad.  But as I approached Ryan, I felt I had to do some acting.  In a very sad, stern, "I'm disappointed in you" way I told him that we needed to go outside and have a talk.

Ryan knows that look and that voice, so he instantly looked as if he were about to die.  He knew something bad was about to happen.  Once outside, I asked him what he and Michelle were doing in the closet.  He was evasive.

"We were just playing a game."

"What kind of a game?"

"I don't know what it's called."

"How do you play this game?"

It took a while to get the whole, sordid story out of him.  As we discussed it, we came upon a whole bunch of good lessons.

1.   You closed the door and turned off the lights because you knew that what you were doing wasn't right.  Didn't you have a creepy feeling about that?  Well, you should pay attention to that feeling.  Heavenly Father gave us our conscience to help us know right from wrong.  When you feel bad inside about something, that's God telling you that you shouldn't be doing it.  Pay attention to that feeling.

2.   She didn't make you do it.  You're bigger than her.  You could have ran away or even punched her if necessary.  You could have asked your dad for help, and I could have punched her!  After all, dad's the biggest, strongest, mightiest man in the world.  Ryan, no one can make you do anything.  You always have a choice.  You can never blame someone else for your actions.

3.   Those private parts that you were exploring . . .  Anything nasty or evil about those?  Absolutely not.

4.  But those private parts are private.  Yours are yours and hers are hers.  It's wrong to mess around with someone else's privates.  Married people get to do that, but no one else. 

What a great collection of important lessons!  All out of a single encounter with a curious cousin. 

After our talk, we started doing our usual joking, laughing, and tickling.  Soon were wrestling on Mike's front lawn.  As usual, I tied the Ryno-man up into a little ball, turned him upside down, and squashed him into the ground.  To this he said, "Dad.  You know that creepy feeling you taught me about?  I'm getting that feeling now."  To which I replied, "Sorry, being sad about losing isn't the same thing!  You're not going to get out of this that easily!"

And thus ended one of those teaching moments.  As I look back on my sixteen years as a father, those times have amounted to the most satisfying of all.  With each experience, I get a little closer to my kids.

But there were two parties to this little crime, and little Michelle had a similar talking-to with her mother, Lois.  Ray enjoyed observing how each parent responded differently to the same situation.  Soon, we were all discussing the whole affair in the kitchen.  This was a light-hearted conversation.  I was just overflowing with how much I enjoyed teaching Ryan all those good things.  I then mentioned that it was such a good experience: I might just start a journal and make that my first entry.  Without missing a beat, Mike said, "May I suggest a title?  How about Saving Ryan's Privates?"

WISDOM:  No part of the human body is evil or nasty.

WISDOM:  Never miss a teaching moment with your kids.

WISDOM:  Listen to that voice inside you that tells you something is not right.

WISDOM:  No one can make you do anything.

WISDOM:  Righteous acts may be performed in broad daylight.